Monday, September 17, 2007

Be Your Own Editor 13

Question: How would you revise and edit the following ten-minute essay?

Answer: My suggested revisions will be published in tomorrow's blog.

...........Tuesday, after school, I had to take my mother to the doctors. For three weeks, pain in her back had been crippling her. After calling out of work I drove my mom to the office. The doctor ordered x-rays to be taken. He believed Prednisone, one of the many drugs my mother takes, was thinning her bones and making the bones very weak.
..........After the x-rays were taken the doctor concluded that she did indeed have a compressed fracture. Besides pain medication, which puts her in outer space, there is nothing that can be done for her. Yet again, a new bridge has been placed in her path.

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