Thursday, September 6, 2007

Be Your Own Editor 07

Question: How would you revise the following ten-minute essay?

Answer: Check tomorrow's blog to see my recommended changes.

Note: Items in bold face are clues to some changes I would make.

Original
..........Consumers looking to purchase a new vehicle today, may opt to lease.
..........Leasing has gained popularity over the past ten years, and automobile analysts say it's popularity continues to grow.
..........One major advantage to leasing is that the leasee can drive more car for less money. Another advantage is that only a small deposit is required, which is refunded at the end of the lease.
..........Leasing is another word for "renting" the vehicle. At the end of your lease, you may opt to purchase the vehicle at it's residual value or you can turn the vehicle back into the dealer or leasing company.

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