Be Your Own Editor 04

Question: How can I learn to edit and revise my own writing?

Answer: While I think you would learn to recognize your own mistakes from my showing you how to edit and revise your own ten-minute essays, maybe the next best assistance is to try to edit other students’ 10-minute essays. Following is a 10-minute essay from a college English class. Try to correct it yourself. Then check below to see how I corrected it. Compare. Did we agree? Note that my revisions are merely suggestions. If you think I have improved the expression, try to figure out how I did it. I will give you some clues about what I am looking for by putting problems in the original essay in bold-face print.

And do not hesitate to send your own 10-minute essays to raystop2@comcast.net. I believe that if you do so for 5 days a week for 3 weeks, you will learn to recognize and correct the problems I have been discussing in this blog.

Original
………. I do not know what to write. A simple statement of fact. Since September, every Tuesday and Thursday, we have been writing ten minute essays as a class. Usually, I can find a topic from the evening news or something from my personal life. Today, is not so easy. My mind has gone blank. As I sit here racking my brain trying to come up with an idea, I realize my problem is an essay.
……….Trying to find an interesting topic for myself to write as well as for you to read is not easy. I want my essays to be accurate and know enough detail to make it interesting.
……….My part-time jobs and taking care of my mother make leisure time difficult to find. I cannot remember the last time picking up a paper and reading a whole section through. Mainly, I have to rely on T.V. news, which....

Suggested Revisions
…..…..I do not know what to write--a simple statement of fact. Since September, every Tuesday and Thursday, my class has been writing ten-minute essays. Usually, I can find a topic from the evening news or from some experience in my personal life. Today’s essay is not so easy. My mind has gone blank. As I sit here, racking my brain, trying to produce an idea, I realize that my problem with finding a topic is the topic for my essay.
…..…..Selecting an interesting topic for me to write about and for you to read is not easy. I want my essays to be accurate and to provide enough detail to make them interesting.
…..…..My part-time jobs and the time needed to care for my mother make leisure difficult for me to find. I cannot remember the last time I picked up a newspaper and read a whole section through. Mainly, I have to rely on T.V. news, which…..

Compare the original 10-minute essay with my suggested revisions. If you think I improved the expression, what did I do? If you do not understand a particular change, ask me to explain it. Try to make your question as specific as possible. Thanks.

Next: Another 10-minute essay to be revised and edited.

All the best. RayS.