Q & A on Writing
Raymond Stopper
Table of Contents
Directions: On the right of the most recent blog, go down to the month in which the blog was published and click on it. The month’s blogs will be listed. Then go down to the date on which the blog was published and click on it. The blog will appear. If you are interested in commenting on the contents of the blog, you will have to register with Google. The owners of the blogging software will not accept anonymous comments.
5/18/07: Introduction
5/19/07: “-sede,” “-ceed,” “-cede”
5/19/07: Capitalizing Family Names
5/20/07: Writer’s Block
5/21/07: Non-sexist writing
5/22/07: Essential Punctuation (1)
5/23/07: Essential Punctuation (2)
5/24/07: Essential Punctuation (3)
5/25/07: Writers on Writing (1)
5/27/07: Writers on Writing (2)
5/28/07: Writers on Writing (3)
5/29/07: Writers on Writing (4)
5/30/07: Writers on Writing (5)
5/31/07: Writers on Writing (6)
6/1/07: Review: 20 Ideas from Writers on Writing
6/2/07: How Can I Get Rid of Those @#$%^&* Typos?
6/ 3/07: Vocabulary/Word choice in Writing
6/4/07: “Speakwrite”
6/5/07: Write Around It!
6/6/07: More Writers on Writing
6/7/07: Should I Let People Review My Work?
6/8/07: Some Thoughts on Spelling
6/9/07: Some Predictable Misspellings
6/10/07: Visualizing Spelling
6/11/07: Brainstorming
6/12/07: Brainstorming. What’s Next?
6/13/07: Time Out! Review.
6/14/07: Formats
6/15/07: “I Should Have Went to Practice.”
6/16/07: Exposition and Narrative
6/17/07: The Writing Process: Why and How?
6/18/07: 1. Model of an Expository Composition
6/19/07: 2. Brainstorming. 3. Main Idea or Thesis Sentence….
6/20/07: Writing Process for Exposition: 4. Draft
6/21/07: Writing Process for Exposition: 5. Revising and Editing
6/23/07: Essay Exams
6/24/07: Usage: Words Often Confused. A.
6/24/07: Usage: Words Often Confused. B. C.
6/25/07: Usage: Words Often Confused. D. E.
6/26/07: Usage: Words Often Confused. F. G. H.
6/27/07: Words Often Confused. I. J. L.
6/28/07: Words Often Confused. M. N.
6/29/07: Words Often Confused. P. Q.
7/2/07: Usage: Words Often Confused. S.
7/3/07: Usage: Words Often Confused. T.
7/4/07: Usage: Words Often Confused. U. W.
7/6/07: Sentence Combining 01
7/10/07: Sentence Combining 02.
7/11/07: Sentence Combining 03.
7/12/07: Sentence Combining 04.
7/13/07: Sentence Combining 05.
7/15/07: Informal and Formal Writing
7/16/07: Informal and Formal Writing 02
7/17/07: Informal and Formal Writing 03
7/18/07: Informal and Formal Writing 04
7/20/07: Informal and Formal Writing 05
7/21/07: “Yo!”
7/24/07: Predictable Problems in Sentence structure 01
7/25/07: Predictable Problems in Sentence Structure 02. Run-ons
7/26/07: Predictable Problems in Sentence Structure 03. Sentence Fragments
7/30/07: Predictable Problem in Sentence Structure 04. Active and Passive Voice
7/31/07: Predictable Problems in Sentence Structure 05. Dangling Modifiers
8/1/07: Predictable Problems in Sentence Structure 06. Misplaced Modifiers
8/2/07: Predictable Problems in Sentence Structure 07. Parallel Structure
8/3/07: Predictable Problems in Sentence Structure 08. Summary
8/5/07: 10 Minutes a Day
8/7/05: Ten-Minute Essays 02: Some Possible Topics
8/8/07: Ten-Minute Essays. Possible Topics 03
8/9/07: Ten-Minute Essays. Possible Topics 04
8/10/07: Ten-Minute Essays. Possible Topics 05
8/13/07: Ten-Minute Essays. Possible Topics 06
8/14/07: Ten-Minute Essays. Possible Topics 07
8/15/07: 10-Minute Essays Examples 01
8/16/07: 10-Minute Essays Examples 02
8/17/07: 10-Minute Essays Examples 03
8/20/07: 10-Minute Essays Examples 04
8/21/07: 10-Minute Essays Examples 05
8/22/07: Be Your Own Editor 01
8/23/07: Be Your Own Editor 02
8/27/07: Be Your Own Editor 03
8/28/07: Be Your Own Editor 04
8/29/07: Be Your Own Editor 05
8/30/07: Be Your Own Editor 06
8/31/07: Table of Contents
Friday, August 31, 2007
Thursday, August 30, 2007
Be your Own Editor 06
Question: How can I learn to recognize in my own writing the problems you have discussed in your blog?
Answer: Try a ten-minute essay, five days a week, for three weeks. Write as well as you can and send each essay to raystop2@comcast.net. I will revise and edit with special attention to the problems that I have discussed in the blog. Another method is to try to revise the original ten-minute essays that I am including for the next week or so in my blog. Then check the next day's blog to see my suggested revisions and compare yours to mine. If you notice changes that you do not understand, just ask and I'll explain. I note in bold face in the original ten-minute essay some of the problems that I will revise.
Original
……….Writing for ten minutes, an assignment given in my English Comp. class, was a job I getting into the habit of doing.
……….The words were beginning to flow and I must say -- I really got caught up and could have written and written.
……….I feel forced to write and tend to get a mental block.
Suggested Revisions
……….Writing for ten minutes, an assignment in my English composition class, is becoming a comfortable habit. The words are beginning to flow. I become completely absorbed and can write for an extended period of time. Because I am able to write on any topic I choose, I feel free to express my own ideas. On the other hand, if I feel forced to write on a given topic, I tend to experience writer’s block.
Summary of Revisions: The three individual sentences actually add up to a complete paragraph. Sentence # 3 did not clearly relate to the first two sentences, so I tried to express that relationship. “Writer’s block” seemed to be a more specific choice of words than “mental block,” although “mental block” also describes the condition. Changed tense because the writer seemed to be discussing what is happening now. Eliminated “getting” and “got.” Tried to smooth the relationship between each sentence.
Tomorrow: another ten-minute essay for you to revise.
Answer: Try a ten-minute essay, five days a week, for three weeks. Write as well as you can and send each essay to raystop2@comcast.net. I will revise and edit with special attention to the problems that I have discussed in the blog. Another method is to try to revise the original ten-minute essays that I am including for the next week or so in my blog. Then check the next day's blog to see my suggested revisions and compare yours to mine. If you notice changes that you do not understand, just ask and I'll explain. I note in bold face in the original ten-minute essay some of the problems that I will revise.
Original
……….Writing for ten minutes, an assignment given in my English Comp. class, was a job I getting into the habit of doing.
……….The words were beginning to flow and I must say -- I really got caught up and could have written and written.
……….I feel forced to write and tend to get a mental block.
Suggested Revisions
……….Writing for ten minutes, an assignment in my English composition class, is becoming a comfortable habit. The words are beginning to flow. I become completely absorbed and can write for an extended period of time. Because I am able to write on any topic I choose, I feel free to express my own ideas. On the other hand, if I feel forced to write on a given topic, I tend to experience writer’s block.
Summary of Revisions: The three individual sentences actually add up to a complete paragraph. Sentence # 3 did not clearly relate to the first two sentences, so I tried to express that relationship. “Writer’s block” seemed to be a more specific choice of words than “mental block,” although “mental block” also describes the condition. Changed tense because the writer seemed to be discussing what is happening now. Eliminated “getting” and “got.” Tried to smooth the relationship between each sentence.
Tomorrow: another ten-minute essay for you to revise.
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
Be Your Own Editor 05
Question: How can I learn to recognize the problems in my own writing that you have dealt with in your blog?
Answer: Try the 10-minute essay program. Write for 10 minutes, 5 days a week for 3 weeks. I will point out problems in your writing. I can almost guarantee that your writing will improve. I will look specifically for the kinds of problems I have been discussing in this blog. Send your 10-minute essays to raystop2@comcast.net. I will send them back within 24 hours with suggested revisions. Your writing will be completely confidential. I will share it with no one.
For the next several days, I will provide examples of actual 10-minute essays from people who have agreed to my sharing them with you in this blog. Try correcting them yourself. Then, see my suggested revisions in the next day's blog. Some of these problems will be pointed out in bold face in the original. If you do not understand a change, just ask and I will explain.
Original 10-minute essay:
……….Writing for ten minutes, an assignment given in my English Comp. class, was a job I was getting into the habit of doing.
……….The words were beginning to flow and I must say -- I really got caught up and could have written and written.
……….I feel forced to write and tend to get a mental block.
All the best. RayS.
Answer: Try the 10-minute essay program. Write for 10 minutes, 5 days a week for 3 weeks. I will point out problems in your writing. I can almost guarantee that your writing will improve. I will look specifically for the kinds of problems I have been discussing in this blog. Send your 10-minute essays to raystop2@comcast.net. I will send them back within 24 hours with suggested revisions. Your writing will be completely confidential. I will share it with no one.
For the next several days, I will provide examples of actual 10-minute essays from people who have agreed to my sharing them with you in this blog. Try correcting them yourself. Then, see my suggested revisions in the next day's blog. Some of these problems will be pointed out in bold face in the original. If you do not understand a change, just ask and I will explain.
Original 10-minute essay:
……….Writing for ten minutes, an assignment given in my English Comp. class, was a job I was getting into the habit of doing.
……….The words were beginning to flow and I must say -- I really got caught up and could have written and written.
……….I feel forced to write and tend to get a mental block.
All the best. RayS.
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
Be Your Own Editor 04
Question: How can I learn to edit and revise my own writing?
Answer: While I think you would learn to recognize your own mistakes from my showing you how to edit and revise your own ten-minute essays, maybe the next best assistance is to try to edit other students’ 10-minute essays. Following is a 10-minute essay from a college English class. Try to correct it yourself. Then check below to see how I corrected it. Compare. Did we agree? Note that my revisions are merely suggestions. If you think I have improved the expression, try to figure out how I did it. I will give you some clues about what I am looking for by putting problems in the original essay in bold-face print.
And do not hesitate to send your own 10-minute essays to raystop2@comcast.net. I believe that if you do so for 5 days a week for 3 weeks, you will learn to recognize and correct the problems I have been discussing in this blog.
Original
………. I do not know what to write. A simple statement of fact. Since September, every Tuesday and Thursday, we have been writing ten minute essays as a class. Usually, I can find a topic from the evening news or something from my personal life. Today, is not so easy. My mind has gone blank. As I sit here racking my brain trying to come up with an idea, I realize my problem is an essay.
……….Trying to find an interesting topic for myself to write as well as for you to read is not easy. I want my essays to be accurate and know enough detail to make it interesting.
……….My part-time jobs and taking care of my mother make leisure time difficult to find. I cannot remember the last time picking up a paper and reading a whole section through. Mainly, I have to rely on T.V. news, which....
Suggested Revisions
…..…..I do not know what to write--a simple statement of fact. Since September, every Tuesday and Thursday, my class has been writing ten-minute essays. Usually, I can find a topic from the evening news or from some experience in my personal life. Today’s essay is not so easy. My mind has gone blank. As I sit here, racking my brain, trying to produce an idea, I realize that my problem with finding a topic is the topic for my essay.
…..…..Selecting an interesting topic for me to write about and for you to read is not easy. I want my essays to be accurate and to provide enough detail to make them interesting.
…..…..My part-time jobs and the time needed to care for my mother make leisure difficult for me to find. I cannot remember the last time I picked up a newspaper and read a whole section through. Mainly, I have to rely on T.V. news, which…..
Compare the original 10-minute essay with my suggested revisions. If you think I improved the expression, what did I do? If you do not understand a particular change, ask me to explain it. Try to make your question as specific as possible. Thanks.
Next: Another 10-minute essay to be revised and edited.
All the best. RayS.
Answer: While I think you would learn to recognize your own mistakes from my showing you how to edit and revise your own ten-minute essays, maybe the next best assistance is to try to edit other students’ 10-minute essays. Following is a 10-minute essay from a college English class. Try to correct it yourself. Then check below to see how I corrected it. Compare. Did we agree? Note that my revisions are merely suggestions. If you think I have improved the expression, try to figure out how I did it. I will give you some clues about what I am looking for by putting problems in the original essay in bold-face print.
And do not hesitate to send your own 10-minute essays to raystop2@comcast.net. I believe that if you do so for 5 days a week for 3 weeks, you will learn to recognize and correct the problems I have been discussing in this blog.
Original
………. I do not know what to write. A simple statement of fact. Since September, every Tuesday and Thursday, we have been writing ten minute essays as a class. Usually, I can find a topic from the evening news or something from my personal life. Today, is not so easy. My mind has gone blank. As I sit here racking my brain trying to come up with an idea, I realize my problem is an essay.
……….Trying to find an interesting topic for myself to write as well as for you to read is not easy. I want my essays to be accurate and know enough detail to make it interesting.
……….My part-time jobs and taking care of my mother make leisure time difficult to find. I cannot remember the last time picking up a paper and reading a whole section through. Mainly, I have to rely on T.V. news, which....
Suggested Revisions
…..…..I do not know what to write--a simple statement of fact. Since September, every Tuesday and Thursday, my class has been writing ten-minute essays. Usually, I can find a topic from the evening news or from some experience in my personal life. Today’s essay is not so easy. My mind has gone blank. As I sit here, racking my brain, trying to produce an idea, I realize that my problem with finding a topic is the topic for my essay.
…..…..Selecting an interesting topic for me to write about and for you to read is not easy. I want my essays to be accurate and to provide enough detail to make them interesting.
…..…..My part-time jobs and the time needed to care for my mother make leisure difficult for me to find. I cannot remember the last time I picked up a newspaper and read a whole section through. Mainly, I have to rely on T.V. news, which…..
Compare the original 10-minute essay with my suggested revisions. If you think I improved the expression, what did I do? If you do not understand a particular change, ask me to explain it. Try to make your question as specific as possible. Thanks.
Next: Another 10-minute essay to be revised and edited.
All the best. RayS.
Monday, August 27, 2007
Be Your Own Editor 03
Question: How can I learn to edit and revise my own writing?
Answer: While I think you would learn to recognize your own mistakes from my showing you how to edit and revise your own ten-minute essays, maybe the next best assistance is to try to edit other students’ 10-minute essays. Following is a 10-minute essay from a college English class. Try to correct it yourself. Then check the next day’s blog to see how I corrected it. Compare. Did we agree? Note that my revisions are merely suggestions. If you think I have improved the expression, try to figure out how I did it. I will give you some clues about what I am looking for by putting problems in the original essay in bold-face print.
And do not hesitate to send your own 10-minute essays to raystop2@comcast.net. I believe that if you do so for 5 days a week for 3 weeks, you will learn to recognize and correct the problems I have been discussing in this blog.
Original
..........I do not know what to write. A simple statement of fact. Since September, every Tuesday and Thursday, we have been writing ten minute essays as a class. Usually, I can find a topic from the evening news or something from my personal life. Today, is not so easy. My mind has gone blank. As I sit here racking my brain trying to come up with an idea, I realize my problem is an essay.
..........Trying to find an interesting topic for myself to write as well as for you to read is not easy. I want my essays to be accurate and know enough detail to make it interesting.
..........My part-time jobs and taking care of my mother make leisure time difficult to find. I cannot remember the last time picking up a paper and reading a whole section through. Mainly, I have to rely on T.V. news, which....
All the best. RayS.
Answer: While I think you would learn to recognize your own mistakes from my showing you how to edit and revise your own ten-minute essays, maybe the next best assistance is to try to edit other students’ 10-minute essays. Following is a 10-minute essay from a college English class. Try to correct it yourself. Then check the next day’s blog to see how I corrected it. Compare. Did we agree? Note that my revisions are merely suggestions. If you think I have improved the expression, try to figure out how I did it. I will give you some clues about what I am looking for by putting problems in the original essay in bold-face print.
And do not hesitate to send your own 10-minute essays to raystop2@comcast.net. I believe that if you do so for 5 days a week for 3 weeks, you will learn to recognize and correct the problems I have been discussing in this blog.
Original
..........I do not know what to write. A simple statement of fact. Since September, every Tuesday and Thursday, we have been writing ten minute essays as a class. Usually, I can find a topic from the evening news or something from my personal life. Today, is not so easy. My mind has gone blank. As I sit here racking my brain trying to come up with an idea, I realize my problem is an essay.
..........Trying to find an interesting topic for myself to write as well as for you to read is not easy. I want my essays to be accurate and know enough detail to make it interesting.
..........My part-time jobs and taking care of my mother make leisure time difficult to find. I cannot remember the last time picking up a paper and reading a whole section through. Mainly, I have to rely on T.V. news, which....
All the best. RayS.
Thursday, August 23, 2007
Be Your Own Editor 02
Question: How can I learn to edit and revise my own writing?
Answer: While I think you would learn to recognize your own mistakes from my showing you how to edit and revise your personal ten-minute essays, maybe the next best assistance is to try to edit other students’ 10-minute essays.
Here are my directions from yesterday's blog: Following is a 10-minute essay from a college English class. Try to correct the essay yourself. While not as challenging as Sudoku, revising the essay is probably more practical, if half the fun. Then check the next day’s blog to see how I corrected it. Compare. Did we agree? Note that my revisions are merely suggestions. If you think I have improved the expression, try to figure out how I did it. I will give you some clues about what I am looking for by putting problems in the original essay in bold-face print.
And do not hesitate to send your own 10-minute essays to raystop2@comcast.net. I believe that if you do so for 5 days a week for 3 weeks, you will learn to recognize and correct the problems I have been discussing in this blog.
Below is the original ten-minute essay that I gave you yesterday followed by my suggested revisions.
Original Ten-Minute Essay
..........This weekend I went to the University of Delaware with a couple of friends to visit some of our former classmates. All of us had a great time. We walked all over Newark, we visited all of the dorms, and met numerous people.
..........The campus was great it was kind of big but well worth the effort to walk around. I think that I might transfer to "U of D" because it's only 15 to 20 minutes away from my home, the campus setting was great, and the people seemed very nice.
..........I asked the students I met questions about classes and they said that, the only aspect they did not like about the university was the size of the classes. They said that they were really big and that the professor did not get to know you because there are so many students to a class room.
Suggested Revisions
……….This weekend I went to the University of Delaware with a couple of friends to meet some of our former classmates from high school. We had an enjoyable time, walked all over Newark, visited the dorms and met numerous people.
………The campus was extensive, but well worth the effort to walk around it. I think that I might transfer to “U of D” because my home is only 15 to 20 minutes from the university, the setting is attractive and the students I met seemed pleasant and friendly.
………I asked questions about classes and the students said that class size was the only negative aspect of the university. Professors had difficulty learning to know individuals in classrooms with more than 100 students.
Note: I tried to make the expression more concise, more specific in choice of words and more consistent in point of view.
Next: Another original 10-minute essay to revise and edit.
All the best. RayS.
Answer: While I think you would learn to recognize your own mistakes from my showing you how to edit and revise your personal ten-minute essays, maybe the next best assistance is to try to edit other students’ 10-minute essays.
Here are my directions from yesterday's blog: Following is a 10-minute essay from a college English class. Try to correct the essay yourself. While not as challenging as Sudoku, revising the essay is probably more practical, if half the fun. Then check the next day’s blog to see how I corrected it. Compare. Did we agree? Note that my revisions are merely suggestions. If you think I have improved the expression, try to figure out how I did it. I will give you some clues about what I am looking for by putting problems in the original essay in bold-face print.
And do not hesitate to send your own 10-minute essays to raystop2@comcast.net. I believe that if you do so for 5 days a week for 3 weeks, you will learn to recognize and correct the problems I have been discussing in this blog.
Below is the original ten-minute essay that I gave you yesterday followed by my suggested revisions.
Original Ten-Minute Essay
..........This weekend I went to the University of Delaware with a couple of friends to visit some of our former classmates. All of us had a great time. We walked all over Newark, we visited all of the dorms, and met numerous people.
..........The campus was great it was kind of big but well worth the effort to walk around. I think that I might transfer to "U of D" because it's only 15 to 20 minutes away from my home, the campus setting was great, and the people seemed very nice.
..........I asked the students I met questions about classes and they said that, the only aspect they did not like about the university was the size of the classes. They said that they were really big and that the professor did not get to know you because there are so many students to a class room.
Suggested Revisions
……….This weekend I went to the University of Delaware with a couple of friends to meet some of our former classmates from high school. We had an enjoyable time, walked all over Newark, visited the dorms and met numerous people.
………The campus was extensive, but well worth the effort to walk around it. I think that I might transfer to “U of D” because my home is only 15 to 20 minutes from the university, the setting is attractive and the students I met seemed pleasant and friendly.
………I asked questions about classes and the students said that class size was the only negative aspect of the university. Professors had difficulty learning to know individuals in classrooms with more than 100 students.
Note: I tried to make the expression more concise, more specific in choice of words and more consistent in point of view.
Next: Another original 10-minute essay to revise and edit.
All the best. RayS.
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
Be Your Own Editor 01
Question: How can I learn to edit and revise my own writing?
Answer: While I think you would learn to recognize your own mistakes from my showing you how to edit and revise your personal ten-minute essays, maybe the next best assistance is to try to edit other students’ 10-minute essays. Following is a 10-minute essay from a college English class. Try to correct it yourself. Then check the next day’s blog to see how I corrected it. Compare. Did we agree? Note that my revisions are merely suggestions. If you think I have improved the expression, try to figure out how I did it. I will give you some clues about what I am looking for by putting problems in the original essay in bold-face print.
And do not hesitate to send your own 10-minute essays to raystop2@comcast.net. I believe that if you do so for 5 days a week for 3 weeks, you will learn to recognize and correct the problems I have been discussing in this blog.
Original Ten-Minute Essay
..........This weekend I went to the University of Delaware with a couple of friends to visit some of our former classmates. All of us had a great time. We walked all over Newark, we visited all of the dorms, and met numerous people.
..........The campus was great it was kind of big but well worth the effort to walk around. I think that I might transfer to "U of D" because it's only 15 to 20 minutes away from my home, the campus setting was great, and the people seemed very nice.
..........I asked the students I met questions about classes and they said that, the only aspect they did not like about the university was the size of the classes. They said that they were really big and that the professor did not get to know you because there are so many students to a class room.
All the best. RayS.
Answer: While I think you would learn to recognize your own mistakes from my showing you how to edit and revise your personal ten-minute essays, maybe the next best assistance is to try to edit other students’ 10-minute essays. Following is a 10-minute essay from a college English class. Try to correct it yourself. Then check the next day’s blog to see how I corrected it. Compare. Did we agree? Note that my revisions are merely suggestions. If you think I have improved the expression, try to figure out how I did it. I will give you some clues about what I am looking for by putting problems in the original essay in bold-face print.
And do not hesitate to send your own 10-minute essays to raystop2@comcast.net. I believe that if you do so for 5 days a week for 3 weeks, you will learn to recognize and correct the problems I have been discussing in this blog.
Original Ten-Minute Essay
..........This weekend I went to the University of Delaware with a couple of friends to visit some of our former classmates. All of us had a great time. We walked all over Newark, we visited all of the dorms, and met numerous people.
..........The campus was great it was kind of big but well worth the effort to walk around. I think that I might transfer to "U of D" because it's only 15 to 20 minutes away from my home, the campus setting was great, and the people seemed very nice.
..........I asked the students I met questions about classes and they said that, the only aspect they did not like about the university was the size of the classes. They said that they were really big and that the professor did not get to know you because there are so many students to a class room.
All the best. RayS.
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
10-Minute Essay Examples 05
The purpose of writing 10-minute essays 5 days a week for 3 weeks is to let me, RayS., help you identify the problems in sentence structure, usage, punctuation and style in your own writing. Exercises and examples help you to recognize problems but they seldom transfer to your own writing.
Question: Could you give some examples of what you mean by ten-minute essays?
Answer: For the next several weeks, I will give you some examples of ten-minute essays that I have corrected in the past. Try correcting them yourself and then read my corrections. At any time, feel free to write your own 10-minute essay and send to RayS. at raystop2@comcast.net.
The words in bold face indicate some of the changes that I will make in the original and have made in my suggested revisions.
Original 10-Minute Essay
……….Today I went to my old high school and watched a field hockey game. Watching my old teammates play, I felt anxious to get out there and play. I finally realized how much I missed playing.
……….After watching the game, it made me want to do better in school. I can't wait to get out on the field again. Hopefully the feeling will stay with me throughout the time that I am at school.
……….When I was at practice after school every day, I always said that I hated to go. Now that I am out of school I wish that I was on the practice field again. When I graduated I said "that I would never step foot on the school property again." Now I find myself going back to watch every home game remembering how I felt on game day.
Suggested Revisions
………Today, I went to my old high school and watched a field hockey game. Seeing my old teammates play, I was eager to join them on the field. I finally realize how much I miss playing field hockey.
……….Watching this game made me want to do better in school. I cannot wait to play field hockey again. I hope my enthusiasm for my favorite sport will continue throughout my school career.
………. In high school, I always hated to practice. Now that I am out of school, I wish I were on the field every day. When I graduated, I said, “I will never set foot on this school property again.” Now I go back to watch every home game and remember how I felt on game day.
Note: One problem in this 10-minute essay was an ambiguous statement: “Hopefully, the feeling will stay with me throughout the time that I am at school.” I did not understand what the writer meant by “the feeling,” so I guessed at the intended meaning.
Also, avoid using “hopefully.” I will not bother to explain the usage problem involved, but I will suggest always using “I hope” whenever you are tempted to use “hopefully.” Then you cannot be wrong. “Hopefully” is also a word that tends to be repeated habitually in conversations and therefore in informal writing.
Indirect quotations, “…that I would never step foot….” should not be used with quotation marks. Note how I changed the indirect quotation into a direct quotation. To retain the indirect quotation, just eliminate the quotation marks.
“Anxious” involves concern and worry. “Eager” means enthusiastic.
“…step foot” should be “…set foot….”
"I wish that I was...." should be "I wish I were...." Always use "were" after "I wish...."
Now you can perhaps understand the importance of the ten-minute essays. A few of these problems I might not bring up in class. They are the type of individual problems that are likely to occur, and that I can easily resolve, in daily ten-minute essays. Also, the ten-minute essays help me to reinforce solutions to problems that I might have brought up in class.
Tomorrow: Be Your Own Editor.
Question: Could you give some examples of what you mean by ten-minute essays?
Answer: For the next several weeks, I will give you some examples of ten-minute essays that I have corrected in the past. Try correcting them yourself and then read my corrections. At any time, feel free to write your own 10-minute essay and send to RayS. at raystop2@comcast.net.
The words in bold face indicate some of the changes that I will make in the original and have made in my suggested revisions.
Original 10-Minute Essay
……….Today I went to my old high school and watched a field hockey game. Watching my old teammates play, I felt anxious to get out there and play. I finally realized how much I missed playing.
……….After watching the game, it made me want to do better in school. I can't wait to get out on the field again. Hopefully the feeling will stay with me throughout the time that I am at school.
……….When I was at practice after school every day, I always said that I hated to go. Now that I am out of school I wish that I was on the practice field again. When I graduated I said "that I would never step foot on the school property again." Now I find myself going back to watch every home game remembering how I felt on game day.
Suggested Revisions
………Today, I went to my old high school and watched a field hockey game. Seeing my old teammates play, I was eager to join them on the field. I finally realize how much I miss playing field hockey.
……….Watching this game made me want to do better in school. I cannot wait to play field hockey again. I hope my enthusiasm for my favorite sport will continue throughout my school career.
………. In high school, I always hated to practice. Now that I am out of school, I wish I were on the field every day. When I graduated, I said, “I will never set foot on this school property again.” Now I go back to watch every home game and remember how I felt on game day.
Note: One problem in this 10-minute essay was an ambiguous statement: “Hopefully, the feeling will stay with me throughout the time that I am at school.” I did not understand what the writer meant by “the feeling,” so I guessed at the intended meaning.
Also, avoid using “hopefully.” I will not bother to explain the usage problem involved, but I will suggest always using “I hope” whenever you are tempted to use “hopefully.” Then you cannot be wrong. “Hopefully” is also a word that tends to be repeated habitually in conversations and therefore in informal writing.
Indirect quotations, “…that I would never step foot….” should not be used with quotation marks. Note how I changed the indirect quotation into a direct quotation. To retain the indirect quotation, just eliminate the quotation marks.
“Anxious” involves concern and worry. “Eager” means enthusiastic.
“…step foot” should be “…set foot….”
"I wish that I was...." should be "I wish I were...." Always use "were" after "I wish...."
Now you can perhaps understand the importance of the ten-minute essays. A few of these problems I might not bring up in class. They are the type of individual problems that are likely to occur, and that I can easily resolve, in daily ten-minute essays. Also, the ten-minute essays help me to reinforce solutions to problems that I might have brought up in class.
Tomorrow: Be Your Own Editor.
Monday, August 20, 2007
10-Minute Essay Examples 04
The purpose of writing 10-minute essays 5 days a week for 3 weeks is to let me, RayS., help you identify the problems in sentence structure, usage, punctuation and style in your own writing. Exercises and examples help you to recognize problems but they seldom transfer to your own writing.
Question: Could you give some examples of what you mean by ten-minute essays?
Answer: For the next several weeks, I will give you some examples of ten-minute essays that I have corrected in the past. Try correcting them yourself and then read my corrections. At any time, feel free to write your own 10-minute essay and send to RayS. at raystop2@comcast.net.
The words in bold face indicate some of the changes that I will make in the original and have made in my suggested revisions.
Overview of suggested revisions. This 10-minute essay is heartbreaking. The writer’s treatment of her topic is powerful. I almost do not want to criticize the expression. However, improving the expression of ideas is why I am writing this blog. Stylistically, the first and last sentences are quite good, with one small exception. I tried to reduce the needlessly repeated words, to make the expression more concise.
Original
..........Child abuse, I believe, is one of America's most henias crimes. A news report came on television telling of a little girl's plight with child abuse. She had been beaten and chained numerous times inside a small closet for over five years. The investigation is still going on although two people have been arrested. The girl's mother and the mother's boyfriend have been arrested.
….......The grandmother had an inclination as to what was happening, the sad part of the story is the grandmother did not report the abuse to authorities. The child's grandmother told a friend what was happening and the friend told the police. If not for an outsider, who knows how long that little girl would have to suffer.
Suggested Revisions
..........Child abuse, I believe, is one of America's most heinous crimes. A news report on television told of a little girl's plight. She had been beaten and chained numerous times inside a small closet for over five years. Although the investigation is still going on, two people have been arrested--the girl's mother and the mother's boyfriend.
….......The grandmother suspected what was happening, but the sad part of the story is that she did not report the abuse to authorities. Instead, she told a friend what was happening and the friend told police. If not for an outsider, who knows how long that little girl would have had to suffer?
Note: Again, although I am not able to use redlining in this blog, remember that I will use it with word processing to help you track my revisions. If you have any questions about the changes I have made, please be sure to ask me for explanation.
All the best. RayS.
Question: Could you give some examples of what you mean by ten-minute essays?
Answer: For the next several weeks, I will give you some examples of ten-minute essays that I have corrected in the past. Try correcting them yourself and then read my corrections. At any time, feel free to write your own 10-minute essay and send to RayS. at raystop2@comcast.net.
The words in bold face indicate some of the changes that I will make in the original and have made in my suggested revisions.
Overview of suggested revisions. This 10-minute essay is heartbreaking. The writer’s treatment of her topic is powerful. I almost do not want to criticize the expression. However, improving the expression of ideas is why I am writing this blog. Stylistically, the first and last sentences are quite good, with one small exception. I tried to reduce the needlessly repeated words, to make the expression more concise.
Original
..........Child abuse, I believe, is one of America's most henias crimes. A news report came on television telling of a little girl's plight with child abuse. She had been beaten and chained numerous times inside a small closet for over five years. The investigation is still going on although two people have been arrested. The girl's mother and the mother's boyfriend have been arrested.
….......The grandmother had an inclination as to what was happening, the sad part of the story is the grandmother did not report the abuse to authorities. The child's grandmother told a friend what was happening and the friend told the police. If not for an outsider, who knows how long that little girl would have to suffer.
Suggested Revisions
..........Child abuse, I believe, is one of America's most heinous crimes. A news report on television told of a little girl's plight. She had been beaten and chained numerous times inside a small closet for over five years. Although the investigation is still going on, two people have been arrested--the girl's mother and the mother's boyfriend.
….......The grandmother suspected what was happening, but the sad part of the story is that she did not report the abuse to authorities. Instead, she told a friend what was happening and the friend told police. If not for an outsider, who knows how long that little girl would have had to suffer?
Note: Again, although I am not able to use redlining in this blog, remember that I will use it with word processing to help you track my revisions. If you have any questions about the changes I have made, please be sure to ask me for explanation.
All the best. RayS.
Friday, August 17, 2007
10-Minute Essay Examples 03
What is the purpose of writing ten-minute essays? The purpose of your writing 10-minute essays 5 days a week for 3 weeks is to let me, RayS., help you identify the problems in sentence structure, usage, punctuation and style in your own writing. Exercises and examples help you to recognize problems but they seldom transfer to your own writing.
Question: Could you give some examples of what you mean by ten-minute essays?
Answer: For the next several weeks, I will give you some examples of ten-minute essays that I have corrected in the past. Try correcting them yourself and then read my corrections. At any time, feel free to write your own 10-minute essay and send to RayS. at raystop2@comcast.net.
The words in bold face indicate some of the changes that I will make in the original and have made in my suggested revisions.
Overview of changes: The most obvious need for change in this 10-minute essay was to transform one long paragraph into several short paragraphs for easier readability. I also corrected several examples of the passive voice, combined sentences, tried to add variety to sentence structure and eliminated needlessly repeated words.
Original
I have been employed in Law Enforcement for the last nine years. During those nine years I have encountered many interesting experiences. One particular experience still sticks in my mind today. I was working the midnight shift one night back in October of 19... I was employed by ….. Twp police at the time. At about 3:30 am I had received a call of a fire at the ….. Apts. within our jurisdiction. Upon my arrival, I had encountered heavy smoke conditions in the basement. of A-Building. At this time, several tenants were aroused and began evacuating the building. My partner and I had learned that a woman was trapped inside a basement apartment. We tried to enter the basement, however our attempt was futile due to a locked security door. At this time, the fire apparatus started to arrive. I then went outside and grabbed a pry-bar off the fire truck. My partner and I then pryed open the security door. We then began a search of the basement and found a woman over come by smoke at the entrance to her apartment. The woman was then removed from the building and transported to the hospital.
..........My partner and I both received Department Valor awards.
Suggested Revisions
..........During my nine years in law enforcement, I have encountered many interesting experiences. One particular experience I still recall vividly. I was working the midnight shift one night in October of 19... for the …. Township police. At about 3:30 A.M., I received the report of a fire at the ….. Apartments, within our jurisdiction. Upon my arrival, I encountered heavy smoke conditions in the basement of A-Building.
..........Right away, my partner and I aroused several tenants who began evacuating the building, but we learned that a woman was trapped inside a basement apartment. We tried to enter the basement; however, our attempt was futile because of a locked security door.
..........When the fire apparatus arrived, I went outside and seized a pry-bar from the fire truck, and my partner and I pried open the security door. We then began to search the basement and found a woman overcome by smoke at the entrance to her apartment. Medical personnel removed the woman from the building and transported her to the hospital.
..........My partner and I both received Department Valor awards.
Note: Again, although I am not able to use redlining in this blog, remember that I will use it with word processing to help you track my revisions. If you have any questions about the changes I have made, please be sure to ask me for explanation.
All the best. RayS.
Question: Could you give some examples of what you mean by ten-minute essays?
Answer: For the next several weeks, I will give you some examples of ten-minute essays that I have corrected in the past. Try correcting them yourself and then read my corrections. At any time, feel free to write your own 10-minute essay and send to RayS. at raystop2@comcast.net.
The words in bold face indicate some of the changes that I will make in the original and have made in my suggested revisions.
Overview of changes: The most obvious need for change in this 10-minute essay was to transform one long paragraph into several short paragraphs for easier readability. I also corrected several examples of the passive voice, combined sentences, tried to add variety to sentence structure and eliminated needlessly repeated words.
Original
I have been employed in Law Enforcement for the last nine years. During those nine years I have encountered many interesting experiences. One particular experience still sticks in my mind today. I was working the midnight shift one night back in October of 19... I was employed by ….. Twp police at the time. At about 3:30 am I had received a call of a fire at the ….. Apts. within our jurisdiction. Upon my arrival, I had encountered heavy smoke conditions in the basement. of A-Building. At this time, several tenants were aroused and began evacuating the building. My partner and I had learned that a woman was trapped inside a basement apartment. We tried to enter the basement, however our attempt was futile due to a locked security door. At this time, the fire apparatus started to arrive. I then went outside and grabbed a pry-bar off the fire truck. My partner and I then pryed open the security door. We then began a search of the basement and found a woman over come by smoke at the entrance to her apartment. The woman was then removed from the building and transported to the hospital.
..........My partner and I both received Department Valor awards.
Suggested Revisions
..........During my nine years in law enforcement, I have encountered many interesting experiences. One particular experience I still recall vividly. I was working the midnight shift one night in October of 19... for the …. Township police. At about 3:30 A.M., I received the report of a fire at the ….. Apartments, within our jurisdiction. Upon my arrival, I encountered heavy smoke conditions in the basement of A-Building.
..........Right away, my partner and I aroused several tenants who began evacuating the building, but we learned that a woman was trapped inside a basement apartment. We tried to enter the basement; however, our attempt was futile because of a locked security door.
..........When the fire apparatus arrived, I went outside and seized a pry-bar from the fire truck, and my partner and I pried open the security door. We then began to search the basement and found a woman overcome by smoke at the entrance to her apartment. Medical personnel removed the woman from the building and transported her to the hospital.
..........My partner and I both received Department Valor awards.
Note: Again, although I am not able to use redlining in this blog, remember that I will use it with word processing to help you track my revisions. If you have any questions about the changes I have made, please be sure to ask me for explanation.
All the best. RayS.
Thursday, August 16, 2007
10-Minute Essay Examples 02
What is the purpose of writing ten-minute essays? The purpose of your writing 10-minute essays 5 days a week for 3 weeks is to let me, RayS., help you identify the problems in sentence structure, usage, punctuation and style in your own writing. Exercises and examples help you to recognize problems but they seldom transfer to your own writing.
Question: Could you give some examples of what you mean by ten-minute essays?
Answer: For the next several weeks, I will give you some examples of ten-minute essays that I have corrected in the past. Try correcting them yourself and then read my corrections. At any time, feel free to write your own 10-minute essay and send to RayS. at raystop2@comcast.net.
The words in bold face indicate some of the changes that I will make in the original and have made in my suggested revisions.
Overview of changes: Good 10-minute essay. My changes were few, but important. I thought replacing “there” and “it” made a significant difference in word choice. Note that I combined sentences #1 and #2 in the first paragraph.
Original: The Bus Stop
..........Today, I took my youngest daughter to the bus stop. She is in the second grade and I have been walking her to this stop since last year. The bus stop is just about a half-a-block from our house, but because there are no sidewalks I feel better taking her myself. At 8:20 in the morning the street is bustling with traffic because it is a short-cut to a main artery. (I can't wait for the Blue route to open).
….......During our walk today I sensed that she did not want me to be walking with her. I usually do not wait for the bus to come anymore I just cross-her-over and we kiss goodby. But today when we kissed she seemed to look around to see who was watching, and it was just a peck on the cheek. When I was walking back up the street I felt that maybe the time has come to let her walk down by herself but am I ready.
Suggested Revisions: The Bus Stop
..........Today, I took my youngest daughter, who is in the second grade, to the bus stop as I have done since last year. The bus stop is just about a half-block from our house, but, because the street has no sidewalks and is a short-cut to a main highway, I feel better taking her myself. (I cannot wait for the Blue Route to open.)
..........During our walk today, I sensed that she did not want me walking with her. I usually do not wait for the bus to come. I just cross-her-over and we kiss goodbye. However, today when we kissed, she seemed to look around to see who was watching, and she gave me just a peck on the cheek.
..........Walking back up the street, I felt that maybe the time has come to let her walk to the bus stop by herself. But am I ready?
Note: Again, although I am not able to use redlining in this blog, remember that I will use it with word processing to help you track my revisions. If you have any questions about the changes I have made, please be sure to ask me for explanation.
All the best. RayS.
Question: Could you give some examples of what you mean by ten-minute essays?
Answer: For the next several weeks, I will give you some examples of ten-minute essays that I have corrected in the past. Try correcting them yourself and then read my corrections. At any time, feel free to write your own 10-minute essay and send to RayS. at raystop2@comcast.net.
The words in bold face indicate some of the changes that I will make in the original and have made in my suggested revisions.
Overview of changes: Good 10-minute essay. My changes were few, but important. I thought replacing “there” and “it” made a significant difference in word choice. Note that I combined sentences #1 and #2 in the first paragraph.
Original: The Bus Stop
..........Today, I took my youngest daughter to the bus stop. She is in the second grade and I have been walking her to this stop since last year. The bus stop is just about a half-a-block from our house, but because there are no sidewalks I feel better taking her myself. At 8:20 in the morning the street is bustling with traffic because it is a short-cut to a main artery. (I can't wait for the Blue route to open).
….......During our walk today I sensed that she did not want me to be walking with her. I usually do not wait for the bus to come anymore I just cross-her-over and we kiss goodby. But today when we kissed she seemed to look around to see who was watching, and it was just a peck on the cheek. When I was walking back up the street I felt that maybe the time has come to let her walk down by herself but am I ready.
Suggested Revisions: The Bus Stop
..........Today, I took my youngest daughter, who is in the second grade, to the bus stop as I have done since last year. The bus stop is just about a half-block from our house, but, because the street has no sidewalks and is a short-cut to a main highway, I feel better taking her myself. (I cannot wait for the Blue Route to open.)
..........During our walk today, I sensed that she did not want me walking with her. I usually do not wait for the bus to come. I just cross-her-over and we kiss goodbye. However, today when we kissed, she seemed to look around to see who was watching, and she gave me just a peck on the cheek.
..........Walking back up the street, I felt that maybe the time has come to let her walk to the bus stop by herself. But am I ready?
Note: Again, although I am not able to use redlining in this blog, remember that I will use it with word processing to help you track my revisions. If you have any questions about the changes I have made, please be sure to ask me for explanation.
All the best. RayS.
Wednesday, August 15, 2007
10-Minute Essay Examples 01
Why write ten-minute essays? The purpose of your writing 10-minute essays 5 days a week for 3 weeks is to let me, RayS., help you identify the problems in sentence structure, usage, punctuation and style in your own writing. Exercises and examples help you to recognize problems but they seldom transfer to your own writing.
Question: Could you give some examples of what you mean by ten-minute essays?
Answer: For the next several weeks, I will give you some examples of ten-minute essays that I have corrected in the past. Try correcting them yourself and then read my corrections At any time, feel free to write your own 10-minute essay and send to RayS. at raystop2@comcast.net.
The words in bold face indicate some of the changes that I will make in the original and have made in my suggested revisions.
Overview of changes: I think the most significant change I made in the following ten-minute essay is to try to achieve concise expression. I also tried to make the style more formal and point of view ("I") consistent.
Original
..........Rainy day's. I really hate when it rains. Everyone is miserable. The only thing that you can do is sleep and stay in the house. What is really bad is when your in the classroom. Hearing the rain fall, everyone tends to get tired and the time seems to go slower.
.......... Driving in the rain is the worst. Traffic is bad, drivers have to go slow, and you never know when a car might slide into you or the wind could blow over a tree. I rarely like to drive in the rain. I am really scared when it is thundering and lightening and I am out driving somewhere. I always have a feeling that lightening will strick a tree and it will either fall on me or fall right in front of my car.
..........When it rains I usually sit home and watch the television or go to sleep.
Suggested Revisions
..........I hate rainy days. Everyone is miserable. I only survive the gloomy weather by staying in the house, watching television or sleeping. When I have to be in a classroom, the situation is worse. Hearing the rain fall, everyone tends to become tired and the time seems to pass more slowly.
..........Driving in the rain is treacherous. Traffic is heavy, drivers are more cautious and slow, and one never knows when another car might slide across the road or when wind or lightning might strike a tree and crash into oncoming traffic.
Question: Could you give some examples of what you mean by ten-minute essays?
Answer: For the next several weeks, I will give you some examples of ten-minute essays that I have corrected in the past. Try correcting them yourself and then read my corrections At any time, feel free to write your own 10-minute essay and send to RayS. at raystop2@comcast.net.
The words in bold face indicate some of the changes that I will make in the original and have made in my suggested revisions.
Overview of changes: I think the most significant change I made in the following ten-minute essay is to try to achieve concise expression. I also tried to make the style more formal and point of view ("I") consistent.
Original
..........Rainy day's. I really hate when it rains. Everyone is miserable. The only thing that you can do is sleep and stay in the house. What is really bad is when your in the classroom. Hearing the rain fall, everyone tends to get tired and the time seems to go slower.
.......... Driving in the rain is the worst. Traffic is bad, drivers have to go slow, and you never know when a car might slide into you or the wind could blow over a tree. I rarely like to drive in the rain. I am really scared when it is thundering and lightening and I am out driving somewhere. I always have a feeling that lightening will strick a tree and it will either fall on me or fall right in front of my car.
..........When it rains I usually sit home and watch the television or go to sleep.
Suggested Revisions
..........I hate rainy days. Everyone is miserable. I only survive the gloomy weather by staying in the house, watching television or sleeping. When I have to be in a classroom, the situation is worse. Hearing the rain fall, everyone tends to become tired and the time seems to pass more slowly.
..........Driving in the rain is treacherous. Traffic is heavy, drivers are more cautious and slow, and one never knows when another car might slide across the road or when wind or lightning might strike a tree and crash into oncoming traffic.
..........On rainy days, I am safer at home watching TV or sleeping.
Note: Again, although I am not able to use redlining in this blog, remember that I will use it with word processing to help you track my revisions. If you have any questions about the changes I have made, please be sure to ask me for explanation.
All the best. RayS.
Note: Again, although I am not able to use redlining in this blog, remember that I will use it with word processing to help you track my revisions. If you have any questions about the changes I have made, please be sure to ask me for explanation.
All the best. RayS.
Tuesday, August 14, 2007
Ten-Minute Essays: Possible Topics 07
Question: What can I write about in my ten-minute essays?
Answer: Write on any topic you choose. Below are hundreds of possible topics (continued).
stress; stubborn; students; study habits; stupidity; style; success; suffering; suicide; superior person; superstition; surgeons; suspicion; swearing; symbolism; sympathy; tact; talk; taste; tavern; taxes; teaching; teamwork; tears; technology; television; terror; theater; theme; theory; thinking; thrift; time; toast; tolerance; tools; tornado; tragedy; trains; trait; tranquility; transportation; travel; triage; true believer; truth; tyrants; understanding; uniforms; unity and multiplicity; universe; universities; utility; values; vanity; victory; villain; violence; virtual; visual; vocations; volcano; vulgarity; war; water; wealth; weapons; weather; weddings; widows; will; winter; wisdom; wit; witchcraft; wives and husbands; wonder; wood pile; words; work; world; writing; wrongs; WWII; youth.
This list ends the possible topics you could use in writing your 10-minute essays. Next, I am going to provide some examples of 10-minute essays written by students in my English classes in college, together with my corrections. These examples should help to make you more comfortable with trying your own ten-minute essays.
All the best. RayS.
Answer: Write on any topic you choose. Below are hundreds of possible topics (continued).
stress; stubborn; students; study habits; stupidity; style; success; suffering; suicide; superior person; superstition; surgeons; suspicion; swearing; symbolism; sympathy; tact; talk; taste; tavern; taxes; teaching; teamwork; tears; technology; television; terror; theater; theme; theory; thinking; thrift; time; toast; tolerance; tools; tornado; tragedy; trains; trait; tranquility; transportation; travel; triage; true believer; truth; tyrants; understanding; uniforms; unity and multiplicity; universe; universities; utility; values; vanity; victory; villain; violence; virtual; visual; vocations; volcano; vulgarity; war; water; wealth; weapons; weather; weddings; widows; will; winter; wisdom; wit; witchcraft; wives and husbands; wonder; wood pile; words; work; world; writing; wrongs; WWII; youth.
This list ends the possible topics you could use in writing your 10-minute essays. Next, I am going to provide some examples of 10-minute essays written by students in my English classes in college, together with my corrections. These examples should help to make you more comfortable with trying your own ten-minute essays.
All the best. RayS.
Monday, August 13, 2007
Ten-Minute Essays: Possible Topics 06
Question: What can I write about in my ten-minute essays?
Answer: Write on any topic you choose. Below are hundreds of possible topics (continued).
press conferences; pressure; pride; problem solving; professionalism; professions; progress; propaganda; prophecy; prophets; proselytizing; protest; proverbs; psychological experience; psychology; public opinion; public relations; publishing; punishment; puns; Puritan; purpose; quarrels; questions; quotes; race and racism; radicals and radicalism; rage; rationality; rationalizing; reading; reality; reason; rebellion; recluse; reform; reformers; reincarnation; rejection; relationships; religion; remorse; research; responsibility; restaurant; revenge; reviewing; revolution; reward; rhetoric; right and wrong; roles; roller coaster; romanticism; routine; ruins; rules; rural life; sadness; sanity; satire; sayings; scene; scholar; science; sculpture; sea; seasons; secret; security; self-criticism; self-control; self-denial; self-mastery; self-righteous; senses; sermons; servants; simplicity; simulations; sin; sincerity; skepticism; slavery; sleep; small towns; snooping; snow; society; solitude; son; song; space; speaking; specialists; speech; spelling; spirit; spring; squirrels; stagecoach; standards; state; statistics; stereotype; stewardship; stoicism; stories and storytelling; strategy.
Next: Final list of possible topics.
All the best. RayS.
Answer: Write on any topic you choose. Below are hundreds of possible topics (continued).
press conferences; pressure; pride; problem solving; professionalism; professions; progress; propaganda; prophecy; prophets; proselytizing; protest; proverbs; psychological experience; psychology; public opinion; public relations; publishing; punishment; puns; Puritan; purpose; quarrels; questions; quotes; race and racism; radicals and radicalism; rage; rationality; rationalizing; reading; reality; reason; rebellion; recluse; reform; reformers; reincarnation; rejection; relationships; religion; remorse; research; responsibility; restaurant; revenge; reviewing; revolution; reward; rhetoric; right and wrong; roles; roller coaster; romanticism; routine; ruins; rules; rural life; sadness; sanity; satire; sayings; scene; scholar; science; sculpture; sea; seasons; secret; security; self-criticism; self-control; self-denial; self-mastery; self-righteous; senses; sermons; servants; simplicity; simulations; sin; sincerity; skepticism; slavery; sleep; small towns; snooping; snow; society; solitude; son; song; space; speaking; specialists; speech; spelling; spirit; spring; squirrels; stagecoach; standards; state; statistics; stereotype; stewardship; stoicism; stories and storytelling; strategy.
Next: Final list of possible topics.
All the best. RayS.
Friday, August 10, 2007
Ten-Minute Essays: Possible Topics 05
Question: What can I write about in my ten-minute essays?
Answer: Write on any topic you choose. Below are hundreds of possible topics (continued).
meetings; melancholy; memories; men and gods; mercy; metaphor; middle age; Midwest; military; mind; miracle; misanthrope; misfit; mobs; moderation; modern; monarch; mood; moral responsibility; moral victory; morality; morning; mothers; motherhood; motives; motivation; movies and books; multimedia; murder; mysticism; myth; names; nationalities; Native Americans; nature; necessity; negotiation; nemesis; neurosis; New England; news; newspapers; night; nonchalance; nonconformist; North and South; nostalgia; novel; November; nuclear war; objectives; objectivity; obscenity; obscurity in meaning; obsession; obstructions; occupation; old age; opera; oppression; orator, oratory; order; organizing; organizations; originality; owls; oxymoron; pain; parents and children; Paris; parties; past; patience; patriotism; peace; Peace Corps; pedant; people; perception; perfection; personality; perspective; persuasion; Philadelphia or any other city; philosophy; physicians; pioneers; places; planning; play; plays; pleasure; plot; poets; poetry; points of view; politics; polls; possessions; posterity; poverty; power; pragmatism; prayer; prejudice; present, past and future; Presidency; Presidents; press.
Next: More possible topics (continued).
All the best. RayS.
Answer: Write on any topic you choose. Below are hundreds of possible topics (continued).
meetings; melancholy; memories; men and gods; mercy; metaphor; middle age; Midwest; military; mind; miracle; misanthrope; misfit; mobs; moderation; modern; monarch; mood; moral responsibility; moral victory; morality; morning; mothers; motherhood; motives; motivation; movies and books; multimedia; murder; mysticism; myth; names; nationalities; Native Americans; nature; necessity; negotiation; nemesis; neurosis; New England; news; newspapers; night; nonchalance; nonconformist; North and South; nostalgia; novel; November; nuclear war; objectives; objectivity; obscenity; obscurity in meaning; obsession; obstructions; occupation; old age; opera; oppression; orator, oratory; order; organizing; organizations; originality; owls; oxymoron; pain; parents and children; Paris; parties; past; patience; patriotism; peace; Peace Corps; pedant; people; perception; perfection; personality; perspective; persuasion; Philadelphia or any other city; philosophy; physicians; pioneers; places; planning; play; plays; pleasure; plot; poets; poetry; points of view; politics; polls; possessions; posterity; poverty; power; pragmatism; prayer; prejudice; present, past and future; Presidency; Presidents; press.
Next: More possible topics (continued).
All the best. RayS.
Thursday, August 9, 2007
Ten-Minute Essays: Possible Topics 04
Question: What can I write about in my ten-minute essays?
Answer: Write on any topic you choose. Below are hundreds of possible topics (continued).
half-truths; handicaps; handwriting; happiness; hatred; health; heaven; hell; heresy and orthodoxy; hero and heroism; history; Holocaust; honor; hope; horsemanship; humanity; humility; humor; hunting; hypocrisy; idealism; ideas; ideology; idleness; illness; illusion; imagination; immortality; Indian summer; individuality; inequity; influence; information; inhibitions; inhumanity; innocence; innovate; instinct; institution; insult; intellectuals; intelligence; interaction; internationalism; Internet; interview; intolerance; intoxication; introversion; introvert, extrovert; irony; isolation; itching and scratching; jail; Japanese-Americans; jargon; jealousy; journal; journalism joy; Judaism; jury; justice; kin; king; knitting; knowledge; labor; lake; landslide; language; lava; law; leadership; learning; legend; legislating; letter to the editor; liberalism; liberty; libraries; life; lifestyle; limitations; Lincoln; listening; literacy; literary analysis; literary criticism; literature; logic; loneliness; love; lying; machines; majority; manners; marching; marriage; Martin Luther King; martyr; mask; mass movements; mathematics; maturity; media; medicine; meditation.
Next: More possible topics.
All the best. RayS.
Answer: Write on any topic you choose. Below are hundreds of possible topics (continued).
half-truths; handicaps; handwriting; happiness; hatred; health; heaven; hell; heresy and orthodoxy; hero and heroism; history; Holocaust; honor; hope; horsemanship; humanity; humility; humor; hunting; hypocrisy; idealism; ideas; ideology; idleness; illness; illusion; imagination; immortality; Indian summer; individuality; inequity; influence; information; inhibitions; inhumanity; innocence; innovate; instinct; institution; insult; intellectuals; intelligence; interaction; internationalism; Internet; interview; intolerance; intoxication; introversion; introvert, extrovert; irony; isolation; itching and scratching; jail; Japanese-Americans; jargon; jealousy; journal; journalism joy; Judaism; jury; justice; kin; king; knitting; knowledge; labor; lake; landslide; language; lava; law; leadership; learning; legend; legislating; letter to the editor; liberalism; liberty; libraries; life; lifestyle; limitations; Lincoln; listening; literacy; literary analysis; literary criticism; literature; logic; loneliness; love; lying; machines; majority; manners; marching; marriage; Martin Luther King; martyr; mask; mass movements; mathematics; maturity; media; medicine; meditation.
Next: More possible topics.
All the best. RayS.
Wednesday, August 8, 2007
Ten-Minute Essays: Possible Topics 03
Question: What can I write about in my ten-minute essays?
Answer: Write on any topic you choose. Below are hundreds of possible topics (continued).
curse; cynicism; Darwinism; daydream; death; debt; decisions; decision-making; definition; déjà vu; democracy; desires; despair; destiny; devotion; dialogue; diplomacy; discipline; discussion; disease; doctors; doctrine; dogmatism; Doublespeak; doubt; drama; dreaming; dreams; drill and routine; drugs and alcohol; dueling; dullness; Earth; ecology; economics; ecumenism; education; efficiency; ego; egotism; emotion; encyclopedia; ends and means; enemies; enlightenment; epitaph; equality; ethics; euphemism; Europe; evaluation; events; evil; evolution; excellence; Existentialism; experience; experts; explaining; expression; extremism; facts; fads; failure; faith; fame; families; fanatic; farewells; farmer; fashion; fate; father; fear; feeling; feminism; fences; fiction; fighting; film; fire; food; fools; foreshadowing; fortune; free speech; free will; freedom; friendship; frontier; frustration; funding; geese; generations; genius; gentleman; gifted; gifts; glory; goals; goodness; government; grammar; greatness; greed; grief; groups; guilt; habit.
Next: More topics.
All the best. RayS.
Answer: Write on any topic you choose. Below are hundreds of possible topics (continued).
curse; cynicism; Darwinism; daydream; death; debt; decisions; decision-making; definition; déjà vu; democracy; desires; despair; destiny; devotion; dialogue; diplomacy; discipline; discussion; disease; doctors; doctrine; dogmatism; Doublespeak; doubt; drama; dreaming; dreams; drill and routine; drugs and alcohol; dueling; dullness; Earth; ecology; economics; ecumenism; education; efficiency; ego; egotism; emotion; encyclopedia; ends and means; enemies; enlightenment; epitaph; equality; ethics; euphemism; Europe; evaluation; events; evil; evolution; excellence; Existentialism; experience; experts; explaining; expression; extremism; facts; fads; failure; faith; fame; families; fanatic; farewells; farmer; fashion; fate; father; fear; feeling; feminism; fences; fiction; fighting; film; fire; food; fools; foreshadowing; fortune; free speech; free will; freedom; friendship; frontier; frustration; funding; geese; generations; genius; gentleman; gifted; gifts; glory; goals; goodness; government; grammar; greatness; greed; grief; groups; guilt; habit.
Next: More topics.
All the best. RayS.
Tuesday, August 7, 2007
10-Minute Essays 02: Some Possible Topics.
Question: What can I write about for my 10-minute essays?
Answer: Write on any topic you choose. Below I list hundreds of possible topics.
achievement; adults; adversity; advertising; advice; affluence; age; aggression; agriculture; alcoholism; altruism; ambition; America; anecdotes; anger; animals; anti-Semitism; argument; art; athletes; attic; attitude; authority; automation; autumn; babies ;barbers; beauty; beggars; behavior; believers; best-sellers; Bible; biography; birds; blockheads; books; boredom; brain; bravery; Britain and the British; Buddhism; budget; bureaucracy; business; camp; campfire; capital punishment; cares; carousel; cause and effect; censorship; challenge; chance; character; childhood; children’s books; Christmas; circumstances; cities; citizenship; civil rights; Civil War; civility; civilization; class (social); classic; cliques; clouds; college; comedy; committees; common sense; communication; competence; competition; cooperation; complaint; compromise; computers; conceited; concentration; confidence; conflict; conscience; consciousness; conservation; conservatism; consistency; Constitution; contradictions; conversation; courage; creativity; crime; crisis; criticism; crowds; cruelty; culture; cultural differences. (To be continued)
Tomorrow: more possible topics.
All the best. RayS.
Answer: Write on any topic you choose. Below I list hundreds of possible topics.
achievement; adults; adversity; advertising; advice; affluence; age; aggression; agriculture; alcoholism; altruism; ambition; America; anecdotes; anger; animals; anti-Semitism; argument; art; athletes; attic; attitude; authority; automation; autumn; babies ;barbers; beauty; beggars; behavior; believers; best-sellers; Bible; biography; birds; blockheads; books; boredom; brain; bravery; Britain and the British; Buddhism; budget; bureaucracy; business; camp; campfire; capital punishment; cares; carousel; cause and effect; censorship; challenge; chance; character; childhood; children’s books; Christmas; circumstances; cities; citizenship; civil rights; Civil War; civility; civilization; class (social); classic; cliques; clouds; college; comedy; committees; common sense; communication; competence; competition; cooperation; complaint; compromise; computers; conceited; concentration; confidence; conflict; conscience; consciousness; conservation; conservatism; consistency; Constitution; contradictions; conversation; courage; creativity; crime; crisis; criticism; crowds; cruelty; culture; cultural differences. (To be continued)
Tomorrow: more possible topics.
All the best. RayS.
Sunday, August 5, 2007
10 Minutes a Day!
Question: How can I learn to recognize grammatical problems in my own writing?
Answer: Give me a ten-minute essay a day, five days a week for three consecutive weeks. RayS.
Directions
1. Write on any topic you wish for ten minutes. At the end of ten minutes, stop! Please. Even if in mid-sentence.
2. Write by typing in an e-mail, on the word processor or long-hand on paper.
3. If you type in an e-mail, simply send the e-mail to RayS. at raystop2@comcast.net. Or, attach the word processor copy to your e-mail.
4. If you write longhand, scan a picture of your 10-minute essay into a picture file on your computer and attach to your e-mail.
5. I will re-write your 10-minute essay, correcting any problems in sentence structure, usage, punctuation and style (formal as opposed to informal).
6. I am not a computer “geek,” so I hope you are using the Word for Windows word processor or a word processor that is compatible with it.
I will return your original essay and my corrected copy within 24 hours, attached to my “Reply.” Compare the two versions.
Then, below the original and corrected versions, I will show you by “redlining” the detailed steps I took in revising your ten-minute essay. (I cannot show you the red-lined version in this blog because the blog is written in Html and doesn’t accept redlining.)
Finally, I will ask you to tell me if the corrected copy is “worse” than your original; “as good as” your original or “better” than your original. Respond truthfully. After all, you will decide what you learn and use from understanding my changes.
8. Feel free to comment on and to ask me any questions about the changes I made.
9. I will NOT use your essay in my blog. I will NOT share the essay with ANYONE. The work I do with your essay is strictly between you and me. If you wish, I will destroy all copies of whatever you have written.
10. Below is an example of how I corrected a student’s 10-minute essay when I was teaching writing in college. I asked and received permission from him to publish his essay.
Original
My dog Guinness is a black lab. He’s almost a perfect dog, except for one thing, he becomes excited when he meets new people or other dogs. He leaps on them and of course this frightens them. He is saying “I like you”. They feel he is attacking them. One day the vet told me about a thing called the gentle leader. It isn’t a muzzle but it looks like one. When I put it on my dog he immediately calms down. I’m happy now that he does not jump on people or other dogs.
My Corrected Copy
My dog Guinness, a black Labrador retriever, is almost a perfect pet except for one trait: he becomes excited when he meets new people or other dogs. He leaps on them and, of course, they express fear. Although he is saying, “I like you,” people and dogs react as if he is attacking them.
One day, the veterinarian told me about a device called the “Gentle Leader,” which is not a muzzle, but looks like one. When I put the straps on Guinness’s face, he immediately calms down. With the Gentle Leader, Guinness no longer jumps on unfamiliar people or strange dogs.
The redlined version of the corrected essay would appear in the Word for Windows copy attached to my “Reply.”
As you can see, I combined some sentences, removed “it” and “thing,” varied some sentence beginnings, put commas around an “interrupter,” capitalized, put a comma inside closing quotation marks, substituted a synonym and otherwise rearranged expression to remove unnecessarily repeated words and corrected a run-on sentence.
Hope to hear from you. The service is absolutely free, with no strings attached. I just want to help you recognize problems in sentence structure, usage, punctuation and style in your own writing.
Next: some possible topics for your 10-minute essays.
All the best. RayS.
Answer: Give me a ten-minute essay a day, five days a week for three consecutive weeks. RayS.
Directions
1. Write on any topic you wish for ten minutes. At the end of ten minutes, stop! Please. Even if in mid-sentence.
2. Write by typing in an e-mail, on the word processor or long-hand on paper.
3. If you type in an e-mail, simply send the e-mail to RayS. at raystop2@comcast.net. Or, attach the word processor copy to your e-mail.
4. If you write longhand, scan a picture of your 10-minute essay into a picture file on your computer and attach to your e-mail.
5. I will re-write your 10-minute essay, correcting any problems in sentence structure, usage, punctuation and style (formal as opposed to informal).
6. I am not a computer “geek,” so I hope you are using the Word for Windows word processor or a word processor that is compatible with it.
I will return your original essay and my corrected copy within 24 hours, attached to my “Reply.” Compare the two versions.
Then, below the original and corrected versions, I will show you by “redlining” the detailed steps I took in revising your ten-minute essay. (I cannot show you the red-lined version in this blog because the blog is written in Html and doesn’t accept redlining.)
Finally, I will ask you to tell me if the corrected copy is “worse” than your original; “as good as” your original or “better” than your original. Respond truthfully. After all, you will decide what you learn and use from understanding my changes.
8. Feel free to comment on and to ask me any questions about the changes I made.
9. I will NOT use your essay in my blog. I will NOT share the essay with ANYONE. The work I do with your essay is strictly between you and me. If you wish, I will destroy all copies of whatever you have written.
10. Below is an example of how I corrected a student’s 10-minute essay when I was teaching writing in college. I asked and received permission from him to publish his essay.
Original
My dog Guinness is a black lab. He’s almost a perfect dog, except for one thing, he becomes excited when he meets new people or other dogs. He leaps on them and of course this frightens them. He is saying “I like you”. They feel he is attacking them. One day the vet told me about a thing called the gentle leader. It isn’t a muzzle but it looks like one. When I put it on my dog he immediately calms down. I’m happy now that he does not jump on people or other dogs.
My Corrected Copy
My dog Guinness, a black Labrador retriever, is almost a perfect pet except for one trait: he becomes excited when he meets new people or other dogs. He leaps on them and, of course, they express fear. Although he is saying, “I like you,” people and dogs react as if he is attacking them.
One day, the veterinarian told me about a device called the “Gentle Leader,” which is not a muzzle, but looks like one. When I put the straps on Guinness’s face, he immediately calms down. With the Gentle Leader, Guinness no longer jumps on unfamiliar people or strange dogs.
The redlined version of the corrected essay would appear in the Word for Windows copy attached to my “Reply.”
As you can see, I combined some sentences, removed “it” and “thing,” varied some sentence beginnings, put commas around an “interrupter,” capitalized, put a comma inside closing quotation marks, substituted a synonym and otherwise rearranged expression to remove unnecessarily repeated words and corrected a run-on sentence.
Hope to hear from you. The service is absolutely free, with no strings attached. I just want to help you recognize problems in sentence structure, usage, punctuation and style in your own writing.
Next: some possible topics for your 10-minute essays.
All the best. RayS.
Friday, August 3, 2007
Predictable Problems in Sentence Structure 08: Summary.
Question: What are some predictable problems in sentence structure?
Answer: Run-on sentences; sentence fragments; active/passive voice; dangling modifiers; misplaced modifiers; parallel structure.
These sentence problems are 100% predictable. They are among the types of problems tested in the SAT Writing Section. I thought I should summarize the simplified sentences and their corrections to help you remember them.
Problems
Run-on (comma splice): The Phillies played, they lost as usual.
Fragments: After the rain delay. Riding her bicycle. The roof in the back yard.
Active voice/Passive voice: The boy hit the ball. The ball was hit by the boy.
Dangling modifier: Carrying a coke and a hot dog, the Phillies hit into a double play.
Misplaced modifier: She walked the dog in a short skirt.
Parallel structure: He liked to hunt and fishing.
Solutions
Run-on: The Phillies played (When) (.)(;) (and) they lost as usual.
Fragment: Attach to a preceding or following sentence; or add a missing subject or verb.
The Phillies played after the rain delay.
She was riding her bike on the sidewalk.
After the hurricane, the roof lay in the back yard.
Active/Passive voice: both active and passive are grammatically correct. Use the active (subject doing the action) as much as possible. The boy hit the ball.
Dangling modifier: Add the subject to the dangling modifier, who did what.
While I was carrying a coke and a hot dog, the Phillies hit into a double play.
Misplaced modifier: Put the modifier next to the word it modifies.
Wearing a short skirt, she walked her dog.
Parallel structure: Grammatically, what occurs on one side of a coordinate conjunction (and, or, nor, but, yet, so) must occur on the other side.
He liked to hunt and to fish. He liked hunting and fishing.
Next: Ten minutes a day to learn to recognize and correct these and other problems in your own writing.
All the best. RayS.
Answer: Run-on sentences; sentence fragments; active/passive voice; dangling modifiers; misplaced modifiers; parallel structure.
These sentence problems are 100% predictable. They are among the types of problems tested in the SAT Writing Section. I thought I should summarize the simplified sentences and their corrections to help you remember them.
Problems
Run-on (comma splice): The Phillies played, they lost as usual.
Fragments: After the rain delay. Riding her bicycle. The roof in the back yard.
Active voice/Passive voice: The boy hit the ball. The ball was hit by the boy.
Dangling modifier: Carrying a coke and a hot dog, the Phillies hit into a double play.
Misplaced modifier: She walked the dog in a short skirt.
Parallel structure: He liked to hunt and fishing.
Solutions
Run-on: The Phillies played (When) (.)(;) (and) they lost as usual.
Fragment: Attach to a preceding or following sentence; or add a missing subject or verb.
The Phillies played after the rain delay.
She was riding her bike on the sidewalk.
After the hurricane, the roof lay in the back yard.
Active/Passive voice: both active and passive are grammatically correct. Use the active (subject doing the action) as much as possible. The boy hit the ball.
Dangling modifier: Add the subject to the dangling modifier, who did what.
While I was carrying a coke and a hot dog, the Phillies hit into a double play.
Misplaced modifier: Put the modifier next to the word it modifies.
Wearing a short skirt, she walked her dog.
Parallel structure: Grammatically, what occurs on one side of a coordinate conjunction (and, or, nor, but, yet, so) must occur on the other side.
He liked to hunt and to fish. He liked hunting and fishing.
Next: Ten minutes a day to learn to recognize and correct these and other problems in your own writing.
All the best. RayS.
Thursday, August 2, 2007
Predictable Problems in Sentence Structure 07: Parallel Structure
My method for demonstrating these predictable sentence problems is to use simplified sentences that illustrate the problem and solution clearly and to conclude with some long sentences in which the problem is almost hidden. Additional practice and explanation can be found on the Internet which lists hundreds of thousands of Web sites dealing with the topic.
Question: What can I do to remember how to spell “parallel”?
Answer: Harry Shefter’s Six Minutes a Day to Perfect Spelling suggests that you first blow up the trouble spot: parALLel. Second, add a mnemonic (memory) sentence: “Draw ALL lines parALLel.”
Question: Now that I can spell “parallel,” what the heck is “parallel structure”?
Answer. Simplified mistake in parallel structure: “He likes to hunt and fishing.”
Explanation: “And,” “but,” “or,” “nor,” “for,” “yet” and “so” are coordinate conjunctions, meaning that what occurs on one side of a coordinate conjunction must occur on the other side. If “to hunt” is on one side of “and,” “to fish” must occur on the other: “I like to hunt and to fish.” Or, “I like hunting and fishing.” But NOT “I like to hunt and fishing.”
The point: Grammatically, what occurs on one side of a coordinate conjunction must occur on the other side: “…to hunt and to fish….” “…hunting and fishing….” “What he did and what he said….”, etc. If you spot a coordinate conjunction in your sentence, make sure that what occurs grammatically on one side of the coordinate conjunction occurs on the other side of the coordinate conjunction.
Another example of parallelism is with comparison and contrast: Problem: “TVs on the top floor usually have less interference than on the ground floor.” Corrected: “TVs on the top floor usually have less interference than TVs on the ground floor.” If you have "TVs on the top floor,"then you are going to need to have "TVs on the ground floor" to balance the sentence.
Problem: “TV reception on cable is better than satellite.”
Solution: “TV reception on cable is better than TV reception on satellite.”
Following are some longer sentences with problems in parallel structure, from Warriner’s Grammar and Composition, 1986.
Problem: “A typical cockroach lives as a nymph for about a year and as an adult its life lasts about half a year.” “…as a nymph for about a year….” and “…as an adult its life lasts about half a year.” , p. 313.
Solution: “A typical cockroach lives as a nymph for about a year and as an adult for about half a year.” “…as a nymph for about a year…” and “…as an adult for about half a year.”
Problem: “Cockroaches have a smooth, leathery skin, long thin antennae and they have a body that is thick and flat.” p. 313.
Solution: “Cockroaches have a smooth , leathery skin, long thin antennae and thick, flat body.”
Problem: “The public’s attention has been centered on the need for more teachers, adequate classrooms, and there isn’t enough new equipment.”
Correction: “The public’s attention has been centered on the need for more teachers, adequate classrooms and new equipment.”
Or: “…on the need for more teachers…” “…on the need for adequate classrooms…” and “…on the need for new equipment.”
For more examples of parallel structure, type “parallel structure”” into the Google search engine and you will find, incredibly, 57,200,000 Web sites dealing with that topic, a lot of Web sites for a dry, but important, grammatical concept.
Why is parallel structure important? Parallel structure helps to smooth sentences and helps to improve “flow” in following the writer’s ideas [“…helps to smooth…and helps to improve….”]. While I have been critical of NEEDLESS repetition, parallel structure is one example of necessary repetition. The repetition in parallel structure smooths the flow of expression; unnecessary repetition "clogs" or confuses the flow of expression.
Next: Exercises are of some help in recognizing and correcting these predictable problems in sentence structure. However, I have been asked, "Do these exercises carry over into my own writing? How can I learn to recognize these problems and others in my own writing?" I (RayS.)have a solution. I will tell you about it in my next session.
All the best. RayS.
Question: What can I do to remember how to spell “parallel”?
Answer: Harry Shefter’s Six Minutes a Day to Perfect Spelling suggests that you first blow up the trouble spot: parALLel. Second, add a mnemonic (memory) sentence: “Draw ALL lines parALLel.”
Question: Now that I can spell “parallel,” what the heck is “parallel structure”?
Answer. Simplified mistake in parallel structure: “He likes to hunt and fishing.”
Explanation: “And,” “but,” “or,” “nor,” “for,” “yet” and “so” are coordinate conjunctions, meaning that what occurs on one side of a coordinate conjunction must occur on the other side. If “to hunt” is on one side of “and,” “to fish” must occur on the other: “I like to hunt and to fish.” Or, “I like hunting and fishing.” But NOT “I like to hunt and fishing.”
The point: Grammatically, what occurs on one side of a coordinate conjunction must occur on the other side: “…to hunt and to fish….” “…hunting and fishing….” “What he did and what he said….”, etc. If you spot a coordinate conjunction in your sentence, make sure that what occurs grammatically on one side of the coordinate conjunction occurs on the other side of the coordinate conjunction.
Another example of parallelism is with comparison and contrast: Problem: “TVs on the top floor usually have less interference than on the ground floor.” Corrected: “TVs on the top floor usually have less interference than TVs on the ground floor.” If you have "TVs on the top floor,"then you are going to need to have "TVs on the ground floor" to balance the sentence.
Problem: “TV reception on cable is better than satellite.”
Solution: “TV reception on cable is better than TV reception on satellite.”
Following are some longer sentences with problems in parallel structure, from Warriner’s Grammar and Composition, 1986.
Problem: “A typical cockroach lives as a nymph for about a year and as an adult its life lasts about half a year.” “…as a nymph for about a year….” and “…as an adult its life lasts about half a year.” , p. 313.
Solution: “A typical cockroach lives as a nymph for about a year and as an adult for about half a year.” “…as a nymph for about a year…” and “…as an adult for about half a year.”
Problem: “Cockroaches have a smooth, leathery skin, long thin antennae and they have a body that is thick and flat.” p. 313.
Solution: “Cockroaches have a smooth , leathery skin, long thin antennae and thick, flat body.”
Problem: “The public’s attention has been centered on the need for more teachers, adequate classrooms, and there isn’t enough new equipment.”
Correction: “The public’s attention has been centered on the need for more teachers, adequate classrooms and new equipment.”
Or: “…on the need for more teachers…” “…on the need for adequate classrooms…” and “…on the need for new equipment.”
For more examples of parallel structure, type “parallel structure”” into the Google search engine and you will find, incredibly, 57,200,000 Web sites dealing with that topic, a lot of Web sites for a dry, but important, grammatical concept.
Why is parallel structure important? Parallel structure helps to smooth sentences and helps to improve “flow” in following the writer’s ideas [“…helps to smooth…and helps to improve….”]. While I have been critical of NEEDLESS repetition, parallel structure is one example of necessary repetition. The repetition in parallel structure smooths the flow of expression; unnecessary repetition "clogs" or confuses the flow of expression.
Next: Exercises are of some help in recognizing and correcting these predictable problems in sentence structure. However, I have been asked, "Do these exercises carry over into my own writing? How can I learn to recognize these problems and others in my own writing?" I (RayS.)have a solution. I will tell you about it in my next session.
All the best. RayS.
Wednesday, August 1, 2007
Predictable Problems in Sentence Structure 06: Misplaced Modifiers.
My method for demonstrating these predictable sentence problems is to use simplified sentences that illustrate the problem and solution clearly and to conclude with some long sentences in which the problem is almost hidden. Additional practice and explanation can be found on the Internet which lists hundreds of thousands of Web sites dealing with the topic.
Question: What are “misplaced modifiers” and how do I correct them?
Answer: Like dangling modifiers, misplaced modifiers are often funny. “She walked the dog wearing a short skirt.”
Solution: Is the dog wearing a short skirt? No. “She” is. Put the modifier, “...wearing a short skirt,” next to the person to whom it belongs. “Wearing a short skirt, she walked the dog.” [Of course, I’m way off base if the person writing this sentence had a dog who wore a short skirt.]
Want some more examples? Below are three additional examples from Warriner’s English Grammar and Composition, p. 304.
Misplaced modifier: “The company now runs a late bus for skiers leaving at 6:15.” Who or what is leaving at 6:15? The bus.
Corrected: “For skiers, the company now runs a late bus leaving at 6:15.” Put the modifier, “…leaving at 6:15…” next to word it modifies, “a late bus.”
Misplaced modifier: “One of the observers sighted a plane through binoculars that she could not identify.” Sounds as if she could not identify the binoculars, but it was the plane she could not identify.
Corrected: Put “that she could not identify” next to “…a plane….” Through binoculars, one of the observers sighted a plane that she could not identify.”
Misplaced modifier: “The mystery has been solved after ten years of the missing portrait.” The “mystery” is about the “…missing portrait.”
Corrected: “The mystery of the missing portrait has been solved after ten years.”
Rule for misplaced modifiers: place the modifier as close as possible to the word it modifies.
Again, readers will be able to figure out the meaning of a sentences with a misplaced modifier, but will be distracted for a moment as they try to make sense of what belongs to what in the sentence.
Below are some longer examples of misplaced modifiers, more difficult to recognize than in short sentences. These examples are from Warriner’s English Grammar and Composition, 1986.
Misplaced modifier: “The big schooner was steered through the channel by a daring skipper without running lights or motor about midnight.” p. 304. The “skipper” is not without “running lights or motor.”
Corrected: “About midnight, the daring skipper steered the big schooner without lights or motor through the channel.” [Note: I also changed the passive to active.]
Misplaced modifier: “Detectives narrowed down the number of the houses where the robbers might strike by deduction.” p. 307. Who is using “deduction?” The detective are.
Corrected: “By deduction, detectives narrowed down the number of the houses where the robbers might strike.”
For more practice, type “misplaced modifiers” in the Google search engine and you will find 193,000 Web sites dealing with that problem.
Next: parallel structure. Following that topic, I will suggest how to help you identify these problems in your own writing.
All the best. RayS.
Question: What are “misplaced modifiers” and how do I correct them?
Answer: Like dangling modifiers, misplaced modifiers are often funny. “She walked the dog wearing a short skirt.”
Solution: Is the dog wearing a short skirt? No. “She” is. Put the modifier, “...wearing a short skirt,” next to the person to whom it belongs. “Wearing a short skirt, she walked the dog.” [Of course, I’m way off base if the person writing this sentence had a dog who wore a short skirt.]
Want some more examples? Below are three additional examples from Warriner’s English Grammar and Composition, p. 304.
Misplaced modifier: “The company now runs a late bus for skiers leaving at 6:15.” Who or what is leaving at 6:15? The bus.
Corrected: “For skiers, the company now runs a late bus leaving at 6:15.” Put the modifier, “…leaving at 6:15…” next to word it modifies, “a late bus.”
Misplaced modifier: “One of the observers sighted a plane through binoculars that she could not identify.” Sounds as if she could not identify the binoculars, but it was the plane she could not identify.
Corrected: Put “that she could not identify” next to “…a plane….” Through binoculars, one of the observers sighted a plane that she could not identify.”
Misplaced modifier: “The mystery has been solved after ten years of the missing portrait.” The “mystery” is about the “…missing portrait.”
Corrected: “The mystery of the missing portrait has been solved after ten years.”
Rule for misplaced modifiers: place the modifier as close as possible to the word it modifies.
Again, readers will be able to figure out the meaning of a sentences with a misplaced modifier, but will be distracted for a moment as they try to make sense of what belongs to what in the sentence.
Below are some longer examples of misplaced modifiers, more difficult to recognize than in short sentences. These examples are from Warriner’s English Grammar and Composition, 1986.
Misplaced modifier: “The big schooner was steered through the channel by a daring skipper without running lights or motor about midnight.” p. 304. The “skipper” is not without “running lights or motor.”
Corrected: “About midnight, the daring skipper steered the big schooner without lights or motor through the channel.” [Note: I also changed the passive to active.]
Misplaced modifier: “Detectives narrowed down the number of the houses where the robbers might strike by deduction.” p. 307. Who is using “deduction?” The detective are.
Corrected: “By deduction, detectives narrowed down the number of the houses where the robbers might strike.”
For more practice, type “misplaced modifiers” in the Google search engine and you will find 193,000 Web sites dealing with that problem.
Next: parallel structure. Following that topic, I will suggest how to help you identify these problems in your own writing.
All the best. RayS.
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